-Timothy gets kung-fu beaten to a pulp! -We love www.laykeanderson.com! -Colin Farrell's breakfast, lunch, and dinner; an ATM education; remembering Eka! -Our favourite nightclub "Rebel Rebel"! -Gingers, concentration camps, and the good people of London! -More Simon P movie reviews! -Blacker than black, weaves, and Beyonce!

-The Village People are gay!!! Michael Jackson is a mess!!! -Simon P is the queen of homophobic Bingo! -My precious ring! -Diana Ross flexes her vocals! -Timothy meets ginger, and we're not talking Spice or the movie star from Gilligan's Island! -Auntie Penpen gives some Wham advice!

-Sharon Stone gets her bagina in shape for Basic Instinct 2! -Simon gets a mani and a pedi in Milano! -Who's got jiggy with a deformed Leprechaun? -KFC, quiffs, and Simon's feet! -Boy George is a big fat sh*t! -Mayor Ken gets a lesson in tolerance from Auntie Penpen!