-We welcome Gary the Jew, and Liz gets some good advice from Auntie Penpen! -What's up with the angry Muslims? -Who farted? I smelled it? -Valentine's Day is the absolute worst! -Dick Cheney and Hitler! -What's under Simon's hat? -Let's meet the Negroids!

-Queer FM in Australia wants to carry the show, so Timothy called Rusty the 17 year old who runs the station to get the details! Rusty proves to be one horny kid! -Simon gets a very impressive present through the post! -Liz confesses what she puts in her dreadlocks! -Auntie Penpen gives Pete Burns advice! -Timothy calls a mobile phone that was hidden in the Celebrity Big Brother garden to see what D-Lister would answer!